No matter how excited you are about reaching a goal.
You want to lose weight
Get fit
Look hot for your reunion

Sometimes you just don’t want to do it.
It’s too hard
You don’t have the energy
You don’t feel like it right now
You want a break

And there are a ton of reasons why you feel that way.
Unproductive thinking
Scary emotions
Tired of beating yourself up

When you don’t want to do it is the most important time to pay attention.
To what you’re feeling
What you’re really thinking
To what you really want

It’s the perfect time to just breathe.
Sit quietly and close your eyes
Breathe slowly and deliberately
Focus on your breath

Bring it down a notch.
Sit for 5 minutes
Breathing deeply
Focusing on how you feel in your body
Let thoughts come and go in your mind

Then ask yourself one question: “Do I really want to do this?”
Work out
Eat crappy food
Sit on the couch instead of going for a run

Then wait.
Still sitting quietly
Still focusing on your breath

And listen.
Closely
Carefully

To your inner voice.
It may be quiet and timid
But listen for it in earnest

Whatever it says.
Yes
No

Honor it.
Let it be your truth – if only for a few minutes
Acknowledge it
Repeat it “I truly want/don’t want to do this”

This is a really simple exercise.
You don’t need to do anything fancy, just sit quietly and breathe. I’ve literally excused myself and gone to a bathroom stall to do this, just to get away.

But don’t confuse simple with easy.

This can be difficult – especially when you first start to do it.
You are connecting with a side of you that normally gets shut down.
That normally doesn’t have space to speak.

This exercise is your reintroduction to what you authentically think – about everything.
And that little voice is your best ally in life.

When I first started dong this exercise, I would sit about 3-5 times a day. I would try to do it before I ate. No matter what was on my plate, junk food or healthy food, I would ask myself “Do I really want this?”

At first it was hard for me to even acknowledge this voice.
Because it was telling me that I didn’t really want ice cream or pizza or whatever junk food I thought I ‘deserved’ because I had a tough day.
At first I would tell myself that it wasn’t my inner voice.
Just noise in my head.

Then I just started to honor the fact that I heard it.
That was all I would do. Just acknowledge it – then I could continue with what I wanted.

Then I moved to repeating it out loud.
This was the hardest step to take. Admitting, out loud, that deep down I didn’t agree with what I was doing.

Then, the voice got louder and easier to hear.
As that voice got louder, it got easier for me to listen and follow through with what it wanted.
Each time I followed through with what it wanted, I got a little rush. I later realized that the rush was how it feels when I act in alignment with what my authentic self wants.

And acting in line with what you authentically want, feels amazing.

Now, I’m connected with that voice as my true voice.
My authentic voice.
When I ask it something, the answer comes quickly and loudly.

That other voice that says I can take a break from this and eat junk, is my ego.
Yes my ego is my voice, too. It’s just as much a part of me as my authentic voice.

But there’s one, huge difference.

My ego doesn’t purely have my interests in mind. My ego takes into account what other people think, and how I will look when I back out of pizza night to be the annoying girl that “just wants a salad”.
It’s my ego that takes my focus off of me and onto what other people are doing and what they will think of me.

That’s not the voice that I want driving my weight loss.
And it’s certainly not the voice that will help me connect with myself.

I want to listen to the voice that only wants what’s best for me.
Only thinks about me, knows truly what I want, regardless of what other people think.
That’s what this is all about. Getting to know that voice, and giving it permission to speak up.

So give this a whirl. Try it before you eat, or order at a restaurant. Try it before you work out – or when you want to skip it.

Practice hearing that authentic voice of yours and listening to what it says.

After all, this voice is you, through and through.
Introduce yourself and make friends.

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Keeping the A

by Andrea on May 10, 2012

When I was in high school, I had a particularly proud English teacher. She was a tough one, stingy with her praise.

We once had an assignment that a few of us got back with that coveted ‘A’ at the top of the page.

After passing out our papers and listening to the sighs of relief, she stood at the front of the class and proceeded to deflate our budding teenage egos.

“The challenge” she said, her chin tilted up just enough so she could look down at us
“is not in getting the ‘A’. The challenge is in keeping the ‘A’”

I never forgot that.

Because she was right.

We go for the ‘A’ in a lot of things.
In our jobs, in our relationships, in learning new activites and in our goals.

When you’re going for the ‘A’, you’re focused and trying hard to put out your best work. Nothing else is on your mind.

Keeping that momentum can be a challenge because other priorities eventually creep in.

It’s not unlike when your weight starts to move down the scale.

When you’re first trying to make the scale move, you’re dedicated, focused, and calculating every step you take.

But once the scale starts to move, it’s tempting to take that effort and put it on autopilot.

I’ve done it a million times.

My thoughts are usually something like:

‘I’m losing weight – it won’t hurt to have a little more’
‘I’m working out really hard – I need a bit more food’
‘I can skip that workout – it won’t hurt’
‘…It’s not a big deal’
‘…It won’t affect me in the long run’
‘…I’ll make it up later’

And when I start to think like that, I feel a bit unsure, unclear and not so strong in my direction anymore.

That’s when the next paper slips to a B+.
The scale doesn’t move as fast.
Momentum slows.

That moment where you need to keep the ‘A’ is the tipping point.

It’s the moment where the difference between losing weight with willpower vs. losing weight with natural momentum really matters.

When you use willpower to make yourself eat healthy and lose weight, it’s a persistent, deliberate effort.
You’re constantly in ‘power mode’. Using all that energy on willpower gets harder as other priorities come up and your energy and focus is needed elsewhere.

You energy will get diverted to focusing on work after getting only 4 hours of sleep. It’s energy you will need when you’re running a ton or errands quickly before you have to get in the carpool line. This energy will be needed if you have a tough day at work, or with your partner.

And you won’t have access to your required willpower when you need to make yourself eat a salad when the drive thru is rolling out the welcome mat.

You simply can’t keep that ‘A’ when you rely on willpower.

When you use natural momentum in your weight loss, willpower is not in play.

At all.

Your focus is on curiosity and awareness instead of forcing yourself to act from a place of “this sucks! I don’t wanna have to do that!”

Becoming super aware of what you’re thinking means you’re constantly checking in with yourself with questions like:

‘What emotions am I feeling right now?’
‘Why am I eating this?’
‘Is this physical hunger I’m feeling?’

And that practice is much easier to sustain when other priorities take center stage. Because you’re not pushing yourself to power through anything, you’re just being aware and asking questions.

Questions that will help you understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.

And that awareness is worth so much more than brute force.

That awareness is how you keep your ‘A’.

So I sincerely thank my English teacher, Mrs. Whatshername. There’s not much else I remember about that class, including my final grade (although something tells me I didn’t get an ‘A’).

But that one lesson was worth it all.

Because I’m just as focused on how to keep my ‘A’ as I am on getting there in the first place.

And, as shocking as it would be to my teenage self, I agree with her that it’s keeping the ‘A’ that means everything.

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The One

May 3, 2012

I’ve never had that one moment. That a-ha moment that made me completely change my lifestyle on a dime and lose huge amounts of weight. I used to think there was going to be one. That “Ohhh – I was supposed to turn left at the stop sign” kind of direction. Where something ‘clicked’ in [...]

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Starting at the Beginning

April 26, 2012

I’ve never liked to start at the beginning. I want to start in the middle and skip all the beginners’ stuff. I’ve always wanted to be the expert right from the start. On anything I do. Maybe it’s the youngest child syndrome coming out in me. I grew up seeing all of my siblings ahead [...]

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By Proxy

April 11, 2012

Betty wanted a man. She didn’t have one yet, but she was hoping to meet someone.  She imagined what he would look like and where he would live. How old he was and what kind of job he had. Then she imagined what he would be like.  The kinds of things he would like to [...]

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Quitting the Clean Plate Club

March 6, 2012

I can have anything I want!  I thought to myself as I stood in front of the bakery. I smiled as I picked my favorite dessert.  Cheesecake with fresh berries. I was excited and ready to do my homework assignment. Then I hesitated. Better buy 2 pieces in case I can’t do it the first [...]

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Waiting to Be Happy

January 24, 2012

“You would be so much happier if you lost the weight – and I just want you to be happy.” I’ve heard this a lot.  You probably have, too. But the problem wasn’t that people said these things to me (or that I said them to myself).  I believe they were well meaning. The problem [...]

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The 3 F-Words of the Holidays

December 13, 2011

This time of year is great fun, but I’m all about honesty. The holidays can derail us. We arrive in November as our normal selves, and then get knocked out of alignment until January.  Then we pull ourselves together when we enter the “real world” again on January 1. Don’t get me wrong.  I love [...]

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To My People

November 30, 2011

This blog is dedicated to my people. My people are the ones who think they’re doomed to go back and forth between “Oh my gosh – LOOK at you!  You’ve lost so much weight!” and “PLEASE don’t put me in the picture.” The ones who think weight loss is a struggle and simply about using [...]

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