Who doesn’t know about excuses with weight loss? No time…can’t do it…but it’s my birthday… There are a million of them. I personally excused my way through years of staying overweight.
What about using the weight itself as an excuse?
Extra weight can be a fantastic excuse for not living up to our potential in anything from business to pleasure.
For many years I thought I couldn’t give my all because of ‘the weight’. As if being overweight automatically excluded me from showing up 100%. I honestly believed that to be a cold, hard, fact.
It was also a very convenient fact. If I didn’t give my all, then any failure I had wasn’t a complete reflection of me.
I would think, “It’s not a true failure. I’ll do better once I lose the weight. “
What I was doing was as harmful as the weight itself.
I was giving my extra weight a purpose.
If you asked me, I absolutely wanted to lose the weight. And that was the honest to God truth. No doubt.
But there was a doubt. There was a part of me that wanted to keep the weight. This extra weight kept me from failing. It kept me safe.
As long as I had the weight to lose, there was always Plan B; if I were thin, I would have rocked it.
Losing weight meant calling my own bluff on if Plan B would truly work. It meant putting my money where my mouth was.
And that terrified me.
If I failed when I was thinner, it would be all me. I would be the failure, not the weight getting in my way.
Then what? I had no Plan B after that. Just a drop off where I thought a solid plan once existed.
I felt exposed. Vulnerable.
At the time I believed that those were horrible feelings. (Now I know better.)
That was when I realized what my true feelings were about myself.
I was terrified to be seen. I had no faith in myself.
In reality, the weight had very little to do with it.
Wanting to hide is a reason we gain weight.
Being afraid to be seen is a reason we don’t lose it.
Many people have this fear of losing weight. I know it doesn’t seem logical.
But ask yourself if you’re holding onto the devil you know.
This barrier to weight loss has nothing to do with food, or exercise, or the fact that you were always taught to clean your plate.
This has to do with if you’re ready to step into the limelight.
If you think you’re worthy and good enough to be ‘out there’.
If you can embrace failure, vulnerability, and exposure as essential for success. These are big topics. But necessary to look at. Leaving them unchecked can mean your weight keeps its job for a long time.
These feelings are also tricky. On the surface, of course you want to lose the weight.
Below the surface may be a different story.
I invite you to take a look.
I thought I wasn’t worthy because of my weight. Turns out, I just didn’t think I was worthy, period. The weight was just an easy thing to blame for my lack of confidence.
Which then turned into a fantastic excuse to stay overweight and never test my actual self worth.
The weight doesn’t do anything but sit there on your body. It doesn’t talk. It doesn’t whisper insults into your ear. The extra weight doesn’t control a circuit breaker that flips your worthiness on or off.
When I realized that my self worth had nothing to do with the weight, I stopped focusing on the weight and worked on my confidence. I looked at my beliefs about what failure is. I began to do the work and love myself.
When I worked on building myself up. When I learned that being vulnerable meant having courage. When I learned that fear is merely a thought away from excitement, something amazing happened.
I was no longer afraid to be seen. I knew I was worthy.
And so are you.
How am I so sure? Because you’re here. You’re in this world and you’re adding to it in ways that no one else ever will.
Having extra weight can’t make you feel unworthy, just like losing it doesn’t automatically make you feel credible. It may on the surface, but those surface thoughts have little to do with how we feel and act in the long run.
Look at your whole self and the beliefs you hold.
Are you using your weight as an excuse not to get out in the world?
Are you choosing silence over letting your voice be heard?
Are you opting out because you think your weight won’t let you be yourself?
Do you have a Plan B where you do all these great things once you lose the weight?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, it may be time to look at what purpose your weight is serving. You may have given it a job as a convenient barrier to actually living life full out. Don’t give it tenure.
The answer to giving it the boot doesn’t lie in just losing the weight.
The answer lies in finding yourself worthy, just as you are, right here and now.