I’m feeling very stuck this week. I’m frozen within a project and I’m not sure if I should hang a right or a left.
I can honestly say I am paralyzed with indecision. And I hate that.
As far as I’m concerned, ‘stuck’ is the most frustrating feeling to have. It can also be one of the most common feelings to have because any part of our lives is fair game for getting stuck.
In our jobs, our relationships, our finances.
In our weight, our exercise routines (or lack there of), or our daily practices.
In our mindset and even in our emotions.
In any place, at any time, we can feel stuck.
The ironic thing about feeling stuck is that we get stuck in that feeling.
Since I am feeling it quite strongly this week, I really wanted to dissect this idea of being stuck and take a closer look inside.
What is ‘stuck’ exactly?
When we’re stuck, we feel like we can’t move. We feel as if there is no forward progress, like we will be here forever. We feel hopeless, powerless, and decision-less.
It’s Groundhog Day (but without Bill Murray).
But can we really get stuck?
It’s actually impossible for things to stay exactly the same from moment to moment. We are always changing somehow, in some way.
Our circumstances around us are always evolving.
People grow together and apart.
It’s easy to think that everything is changing but us.
Like we’re the one constant in this world, watching it move on without us.
But we are all a part of this world and are evolving right along with it.
As soon as you finish your next thought, you have changed.
Getting stuck is actually not possible.
So what is this very real feeling really about?
We feel stuck because we think things aren’t different ‘enough’.
Change isn’t big enough or made fast enough.
The next step isn’t clear enough or simple enough to execute.
The scale isn’t moving enough.
We aren’t rich enough.
Our job isn’t exciting enough.
Our relationships, our life isn’t stimulating or peaceful or loving enough.
We feel stuck because what we’re evaluating isn’t meeting our expectations of ‘enough’.
‘Enough’ is a horrible measurement.
If you were looking for a house, and the listing said it was “big enough”, would you buy it?
What does ‘big enough’ mean? Would you accept that as an accurate measurement?
Or would you immediately think what the seller deems as ‘big enough’ may not match what you think is ‘big enough’. You may think it’s tiny, or even way more than you want.
There is no quantifying ‘enough’. Which means what we determine to be enough is completely subjective and relative to how we are feeling in that moment.
When we feel stuck, ‘enough’ has to be pretty huge for us to acknowledge it.
A Different Ruler.
When we focus on if it’s ‘enough’, we gloss right over any change in our situation at all. When we hold anything up to an unrealistic standard, it won’t measure up.
Not acknowledging any change is what keeps us feeling stuck.
So here’s your new source of measurement: Movement.
Movement is everywhere.
Find what’s moving in your situation and bring it close to you.
Knowledge you didn’t have yesterday.
Clarity of what you don’t want (or of what you do want).
A skipped dessert or a walk around the block.
Using cash instead of a credit card.
My movement this week is writing this article. Dissecting this idea of ‘stuck’ and finding what’s behind it.
My movement is a change in perception. And that is no small step.
Now, as I look around with this new perception, I remember that I had a great conversation earlier this week with a prospective client. It’s an exciting opportunity and I’m really looking forward to it.
There’s certainly nothing stuck about that, but I had previously overlooked it because I was focused on what was ‘stuck’ in my life. That conversation didn’t fit the definition of ‘stuck’, so I conveniently forgot about it.
Whether we’re looking at how we’re stuck or at how we’re changing, we will always find what we’re seeking.
When you drop your thoughts about being ‘stuck’ and what is ‘enough’, you will find things are changing everywhere you look.
You will be amazed to see how different you situation actually is.
Next time you feel stuck, remind yourself that truly being stuck is impossible.
Then find what’s moving in your life.
Really acknowledge it and then take a deep breath.
Because you will soon find that exciting things are stirring all over the place.
Give yourself permission to let go of ‘stuck’ and enjoy the ride.
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