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We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have ‘those days’. And when I say ‘those days’, I also include ‘those weeks’, ‘those months’, and even ‘those years’.
We get off track. We still know what we want, but somehow our navigation system is off. Our edge, our focus, and our gusto are all temporarily lost.
Instead of moving onward towards our goals we just feel stuck, spinning in circles.
It’s a spiral. Literally we can feel ourselves whirling. Just thinking the same discouraging thoughts over and over.
We all go there sometimes.
Maybe there’s a situation happening in our lives that we don’t like.
Maybe we’re upset about something in our family or in our business.
Maybe we ate something that is zapping our energy and making our brains foggy (yes- food can send us spinning all on it’s own).
Maybe we want something so badly it hurts and we feel like it will never happen.
When I have one of ‘those days’, it usually involves helpers like margaritas and queso that set off all kinds of reactions in my body. I feel bloated, lackluster and unfocused. So as well as thinking the world is against me, and feeling discouraged, my body now feels sluggish, too.
We feel out of control.
We believe things can never change.
We eat, sometimes uncontrollably and unconsciously.
We don’t have any energy to do anything.
In all of these circumstances, we tend to carry the same thoughts:
That shouldn’t have happened.
It shouldn’t be this way.
This should be different.
They should be different.
I should be different than I am right now.
We are looking at our reality and saying it isn’t right. It isn’t good enough. And since it’s so bad and so unlike anything we want, we should reject it. Deny it. We believe that it shouldn’t be happening so we push it away.
That is called ‘resistance’. When we resist, we get stuck there. Because the whole time we say, “This shouldn’t happen” all we’re thinking about is what shouldn’t be happening.
Thinking about a solution at this point is, well, pointless.
The reset button.
What we need in times like this is a reset button.
A button we can push that instantly stops our spiraling and lets us move beyond.
That instantly washes off the funk and gives us that fresh look on life.
That gives us the energy and desire needed to get ourselves back on track.
That makes it easy to move on to where we really want to be.
And yes, it does exist.
Actually there are a lot of reset buttons. And I recommend having a few close by at all times so all you have to do is reach out and push them.
A reset button must be easy. You should be able to do it without lifting a finger.
It’s a positive reaction – one that comes from an entirely different place than where you are spinning.
For example, if you are spinning and eating a huge bag of cheesy poofs (something I have absolutely no personal experience with), your reset button will not be telling yourself “I shouldn’t be eating cheesy poofs”.
Telling yourself to ‘buck up’ or to ‘just stop it’ does not reset anything.
(My guess is you’ve tried that already.)
It needs to be a completely new idea- a change of subject to get your brain focused on something else entirely.
This is not about simply distracting yourself. This is about shifting your energy from being stuck in a problem to clearly seeing a solution.
Your reset button can be a phrase, a sentence, a song or a poem. It can be just a word if that works for you.
My favorite reset button is love.
Acknowledgment of self-love is the ultimate way to say to yourself:
“I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am right now.”
It resets me because I instantly stop rejecting what I’m doing. Not only do I stop pushing against it, I love myself because of it.
It’s like giving myself permission to move on, instead of ruminating in what ‘shouldn’t be happening’. I stop thinking about what is ‘bad’ and focus on what’s good.
I can feel my whole body relax and I know what to do next.
Nothing resets me like that.
What does your reset button look like?
What instantly relaxes you and changes your outlook on what’s bothering you?
What opens that flow again to allow yourself to see solutions?
Is it reminding yourself to love and show compassion (to yourself or someone else)?
Reminding yourself that nothing has gone wrong?
Asking yourself what is perfect about your situation?
Meditating?
Maybe it’s just reminding yourself to breathe.
These are all reset buttons that I use. I think everyone should have a few that they know work for them.
Sometimes I just need one. Sometimes I need a few different ones to get me reset. When it calls for more, I start with simply taking a few deep breaths and then meditating. After that, I can ask myself what is perfect about what’s happening (and have an answer more than ‘Nothing!!!’ which is usually my first reaction before I calm down a bit).
Start trying out different things.
It could be journaling about gratitude or sitting with your feelings. If you do want to lift a finger, it could be going for a walk or a workout.
If you’re in a food funk, a green smoothie is a powerful reset button (nothing resets like kale).
There’s no limit.
Just start trying things out. Even if you’re not having one of ‘those days’, see what makes you relax. If it doesn’t work now, it won’t work when you really need it. So start noticing what makes you feel good – and what doesn’t.
All reset buttons have one common goal – to soothe you, get you off of the current trajectory (which usually is thinking something shouldn’t be the way it is) and to open your mind and energy flow again.
After hitting the reset button you will find your better feelings, your mojo and your solutions to whatever you’re working so hard to change. And don’t be surprised if the solution you find is simply realizing that it’s not such a big deal in the first place.
Get a few reset buttons and keep them close.
The next time you’re having one of ‘those days’, hit that button and watch your day reset.
The more you practice, the faster you will get. Turning those months into weeks, weeks into days, and days into mere…moments.
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