I lost my wedding ring and after retracing my steps, I realized that it had to be in the grossest place possible- the bathroom trashcan in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant.
All morning, I knew a trash dive was possible. And I kept asking myself “Ok, Andrea, how far are you willing to go to find this ring?”
When looking at the hypothetical situation, our natural answer is probably “Of course I would go that far for something I want”.
But in reality, will we really go as far as we think we will to find a solution?
Especially if we don’t know for certain there’s a payoff at the end?
To be honest, I had my doubts about how far I was willing to go. This is my wedding ring and I still tore through my house first to avoid the trashcan. I didn’t even know for sure that was where my lost ring was.
I almost didn’t go back to the restaurant.
Not everybody completely commits.
There are tons of examples of people not willing to go out of their comfort zone to get what they want.
There’s a famous scene in Amazing Race where a team was eliminated because they waited to cross the finish line and another team finished first. Why did they wait? One of the team members had to use the bathroom, and even for $1,000,000 she wasn’t willing to possibly pee her pants while getting to the finish line first.
Just this week I was talking to a colleague who is getting ready to have a surgery that she knows will set off her MS– and when I asked her why she wasn’t asking her neurologist for ways to offset those side effects, her answer was “I don’t know. I know I can, but…”
We all think that, especially when it comes to our health and our MS, we would do anything to protect it. This woman has had MS for a long time. She’s smart, she’s a professional, and this certainly isn’t her first rodeo. And she, like a lot of us, doesn’t want to be bothered with making the effort to find a solution. It’s not as outlandish as it sounds.
How is that possible?
How is it possible that people miss out on better health, heading off problems, $1,000,000 and even lose their wedding ring forever?
Sometimes we’re not willing to go that far for something that’s not a sure thing.
Sometimes we don’t want to bother someone else.
Sometimes we don’t want to be bothered or embarrassed –even though we know it will be worse for us in the future.
Sometimes our ego gets in the way and we don’t want to admit that we don’t “got it” this time.
Sometimes staying in discomfort is actually more comfortable.
Because it’s what we know.
And we don’t think we’re bothering anyone by sitting there.
Reading this, my first reaction would be “Of course I’d pee my pants for a million dollars, of course I’d email my neurologist for a solution, of course I would go to any means necessary”.
But just this morning, I was seriously considering not going back to that restaurant to look for my wedding ring. It seemed silly. It seemed unlikely that I would find my ring in the bottom of the trash. It seemed like too much trouble – embarrassing trouble- to go through for results that weren’t guaranteed.
Sometimes when we’re unsure of the outcome, or are convinced we won’t get what we want, we stop short of doing everything we can to get what we need.
Where are you stopping short?
What are you not getting for yourself because you think it’s silly to go that extra mile?
Where are you shrugging off finding a solution because it’s easier to stay in the discomfort?
It’s a tough question and answering it takes courage.
The sad thing is, we’re willing to go much farther for our kids, our pets and our loved ones than for ourselves.
It often comes down to comfort now, or comfort later. And so many of us are willing to stay in the comfort now, even if that comfort is an illusion.
As I type this, I’m looking at my wedding ring on my finger. I’m thinking of how it would have been lost forever had I not gone through that trash – which contained more than just paper towels, I might add. I would be devastated if I never had this ring on my finger again. And I’m reminded of how close that reality was.
But it’s not my reality now, because I took a breath, grabbed the latex kitchen gloves, drove back to the restaurant, created a scene, and dove into that trash. Uncertain if I would find anything besides an unidentified infection.
I hope my colleague takes a breath and emails her doctor about how to stop those side effects from messing with her MS.
I hope that you take a breath and do what you’ve been putting off because you don’t think it will help, or don’t think it’s worth it, don’t want to admit you’re wrong about or that you need help. I hope you bother that person who just might be able to help you feel a little better.
It could, after all, be worth a lot of money. Either in memories, comfort, health or actual cash.
Is it worth bothering yourself, or someone else to find a solution?
Will you commit to going that extra mile to get what you want this week?
Why do you think people stop short sometimes?
Let’s chat in the comments below!