We all hold multiple identities.
Wife, husband, parent, sibling, teacher, student, role model, dog lover, cat person…
But when we look a little deeper, we will find another layer of identities that we hold onto.
Never gets a break.
Always has to rise up against life’s tribulations.
It’s these identities that we give ourselves that are the most detrimental.
Because we believe them.
We tell ourselves over and over that this is who we are.
This is where we fit in – as the fat one of our friends, as the one who never has money to do things, as the one who always has drama going on, the one who has no direction in life.
We hold onto these beliefs and let them become a part of our identity.
It’s how we see ourselves.
It’s the lens we use to see our lives.
It permeates any situation we’re in.
It becomes the team we’re on, and we assume full ownership.
But I have some good news: These identities are fake.
They’re not true, not real.
They’re fugazis, my friend.
We know this because they hurt. They feel oppressive.
And feeling bad is a surefire way to know that we’re lying to ourselves.
So why do we hold onto them?
We give ourselves these identities because we think we get something out of it.
Someone to save us.
A good excuse to hide.
We think it will lead us to something that makes us feel better.
But it won’t.
We can’t hold onto these false identities and get a positive result.
We have to shake them if we want to reshape our lives.
Because it’s hard to come out on top when you think you’re the one who never gets a break.
It’s hard to save yourself when you see yourself as the one who will be saved by someone else.
It’s hard to be the hero in your life when you look at yourself as the damsel in distress.
Pick a new identity and live in it for a while
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to happen in your life?
Start identifying yourself as that person.
I’m the one who is losing weight.
The one who is doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing.
The one who is making money.
The one who always comes out on top.
Who are you?
Start by picking just one identity that feels good and invite it into your life.
Live with it for a while.
Write it down and read it often, out loud.
Find ways that it’s true in your life.
Own that new identity.
And then watch yourself become who you want to be.
Because changing how you think about yourself will change everything.